GOOD BYE HURTS !!!

If saying goodbye hurts so much, why do we say goodbye? Because it hurts so much more to keep holding on to something that isn't there. Like you're hanging off a ledge and someone is jumping up and down on your hands but you still can't let go. Like when you're little and you're being tickled...you shout for it to stop because it's torture, but then you go back for more, because somehow being tickled makes you feel safe and special. Holding on is like that...but the torture is painful...and it doesn't make you smile. That's why we're supposed to say goodbye. That's why we're meant to let go..

Why do we do it then ? When we know that there are so many happiness waiting for us? Maybe because we fear the future.. Maybe because we feel the pain when we think about the special person in our life that we so dearly feel as our own.. That is the intoxication that blends with our soul.. and then we feel the pain and the feeling makes us proud of ourself..that we had loved a person so dearly..but without any boundations..

Feeling lonely is a way to be with yourself..A way to love yourself..A way to empathise yourself..To cry along.. To have a best friend along...YOU !!

You become the best philosopher ever.. giving recommendations and helping out people with a terrific wonderful solution.. But alas!! when it comes back to you...??? You fail so badly!!

I have no regrets for being lonely even that I have so many friends to be with and who are with me during my days of thick and thin.. The hollowness that have been created after so many many years have never been filled up..so

I have decided to fill it with laughter and smiles.. so that people who loves me can atleast smile at my smile..!!

"You hug him good-bye like it's nothing... While all you want to do is hold on forever. But you let go, smile and walk away. Then cry all the way home, because you know it will never be the same. Because, try as you might, you can't make someone love you. Sometimes you have to let them be free. And letting go... That is when love hurts the most of all.."

I will miss you forever..do not know whether I will stay here with you physically or not..but will always be present mentally..But today I promise you one thing..the day you need me just close your eyes and call me..I will be there with you...and you will find me just beside you..physically..!!!! I PROMISE..!!!

And now a qoute to end with..

"Sometimes there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do, but sometimes it's saying 'hello again' that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life."

This is just for you..

Khoya Khoya Chand Rehta Hai

My favourite song since childhood...and till now...Love this song like anything else..And I hope you love this one too...Especially for that person in my life about whom am so confused...!!! May you have all the peace and happiness in your life..

" I'm in a sea of illusion
Washed in confusion and pretence,
I thought that I was a winner
Now you weaken my defence
I feel the storm inside
There's so much I should say
But I can't find the way

I'm sick of looking in the mirror twice
When I need reminding who I am
You got those eyes that look right through me

You are the only one who hears my cries
You bring me from the darkness to the light
I'm swimming against the tide
You can calm the storm inside

These changes have to be violent
I have been silent for so long
You gave me back my own voice now
I have no choice but to go on

Tomorrow never comes
The past gets in the way
I'm stuck here and today?

..You can calm..

The Storm Inside..

The Storm Inside.. "

- The Storm Inside Lyrics by Laura Michelle Kelly

Starting off with this beautiful lyrics.

A song which describes to the phase am going through...

This basically is a song dedicated to the Almighty above..I long to have Him by my side..

Who knows where He is and whether at all He is looking at me..

But whatever might be I just hope that He comes to my rescue as fast He can..

Waiting for you Dear Lord !!..Come Soon!

A quote I loved very much..

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Neil Gaiman quotes (English born American Novelist, Journalist, Screenwriter, Children's author and Comics writer of American Gods, amongst many others, b.1960)

So true are the words that had come out...Today at this day I stand a totally different person in the eyes of the cruel world that had made me change. I am a totally different person now. And I know that this time God will help me out of this sick world. Now ...NO ONE WILL HURT ME..NO ONE...

We all talk about loving our spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends..but do we really love them as we should?? Frankly to say, I've never ever seen anyone, till date, who loves someone unconditionally..with that purity..with that passion..with that innocence which should have been there between two hearts.

That two body one soul-wala baat..kisime nahi dekha hai.. So does that mean that we, in this fast paced life have forgotten to love others...I don't think so...We love our pets with the same passion and vigor..with that same innocence..cause we know that they will never deceive us..

False alarm of being in love, scared to get deceived, being obsessed is all the negative terms and actions that leads to such a poor state of affairs.

Open your heart ..open your soul.. open your eyes..GOD has been kind to most of us to give us five senses along with that other sense which makes them six senses. It is our duty to start using them before we lose ourselves in the hands of hatred and sorrow!!!!

If you love anyone..love unconditionally and never expect anything in return, cause even if you think of that..its not love. Love makes us strong and not weak.. If you are in true love then never will you crave for it. Cause it will turn a loser into a winner, a hopeless one into a fortuner.. a dying heart back to a living soul.. It has great power.. Never will it make a person fall down.. it will only make you rise rise and rise..burstling with power and strength.. Negative energy can never be into a person in true love and if its there that means he or she is in OBSESSION and not in LOVE - the difference of the two being like a hell and heaven difference.

So decide and make out if you are in love or obsession..if you are pointing towards the latter then ..: "Mamu..jitna jaldi ho sake..kalti marlo..warna pachchtaoge..!!!"

P.S : That does not mean that you will force yourself into doing the above mentioned points to show yourself that you are in true love..By doing this you will lie to yourself and not to others..to tell you in short words..you are deceiving yourself and there is no other fool ever to be found again!

Learning to LOVE YOURSELF.....

The first step to get all that you have always craved for, is to love yourself like holding an egg in your hand. Sounds crazy..but true. You have to be very careful and very loving while treating yourself. Cause as the song goes-

"Ek pal ka jeena fir to hai jana,

Taufa kya leke jaye ye dil to batana.

Khali haat aye the hum, khali haat jayenge.

Bass pyar ke do meethe bol jhilmilayenge.

To hass kyunki duniya ko hai hasana.

E mere dil tu gayeja..e aa e aa o aa e aa.."

So popular a song..but how many of us pause to understand the song...??? Maybe very few.

Many people out there fail to love themselves but still crave for someone to love them. Why? Why should we expect others to love us when we do not love ourselves at all?? Love yourself as no one will do it for you cause we also love others for a purpose... to fulfill our wants. A lover loves his or her love cause they want them to be with them forever. Reason because they do not want to be all alone in life craving for that perfect life. Parents love their children cause they want to take on their lives to fulfill their unaccomplished dreams or to have a family. Reason: Fear of loneliness. Likewise everyone in this world has some or the other stupid reasons to love others. Stupid selfish people that we are..!!! Living for others, making them happy are some ways to love yourself to pamper yourself. Why do you think that people keep pets..??? Specially now-a-days when life has become difficult. Its just to curtail loneliness. See we are not at all perfect as we boast to be.. The real thing being that its not possible how much ever we try.

I live and survive by making others happy and would like to tell everyone who has forgotten to love themselves. Love others dude.. you'll find greater happiness in doing so. Your heart will beat a lot more than it did. Make a person happy and you will find yourself to be the happiest person in this whole world. Happier than the richest person in this world- you'll feel as if you are the "King of the World!!! " No sorrow can ever touch you. Find your true passion, your motto, your right path and I promise that you will touch the sky. Forget people who tell you that you are not right, that you are a terrible person, an idiot, a mad man. 'YOU ARE SPECIAL' should be your ultimum. Remember always that people will try to suppress you to surpass you. But you should be tactful enough to know when to bypass and when to attack!!

You are a gift by yourself. No one can become you. Its only you.. a special child of the ALMIGHTY

Be happy and grateful to whatever you have as you should always remember that there are lots and lots of people out there who has aweful life than you, but still they never forget to SMILE.

LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU CAN BE.

STRIVE TO BECOME THAT PERSON THAT YOU WISH TO BE - HAPPY AND GAY

Aur agar phir bhi tumhe akela lage to 'Main Hoon Na', cause everytime I help you out, I love myself more and more...!!

One of my best friends came down to meet me ...it was on Saturday.. perhaps the best day in my life... we had a great time together and from those 2 days I could well understand some of the best things of life, perhaps the most important things that surrounds happiness .. they are just a few to name...KEEP YOURSELF ENGAGED AMONGST THE THINGS WHICH MAKES YOU HAPPY...the truth that many of us crave to understand ..many of us fail do to such too...so whats the point..the point is or as my professors there at business school tells us the core issue to the case is that we know what it takes to make us happy but we become too engrossed in the other issues of life..which to us seems to be the most important or the core issues of our life...failing to understand the simple thing called happiness...

We all love to show ourselves that we have much deeper and heavier problems than others..which is absolutely untrue..cause things like unhappiness as well as happiness cannot be measured..it depends on person to person and their ability to handle their own personal problems. But why don't we realize that its just a smile in our face that can change the whole surroundings - may be the whole wide world...

YES this can be done....only by a simple method of BELIEF- belief in us...our abilities...our strength.

I always belief that we have come to this earth with an objective...an objective to change this world as well as others thought process. And if we are alive that means only one thing..and that is....:"PICTURE ABHI BAKI HAI MERE DOST...!!!!!!!"

LIFE

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child and the smiling faces. Smell the rain and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams."

-Ashley Smith

This is Life. There will be many circumstances where you will find that your stay in this world seems to be of no use. But we keep on forgetting that many of other's lives are dependent on ours. If we look at the broader aspects of life we will see that there are so many things to enjoy...so many other things to worry about..so many things to keep us happy, so many things to love and so many other to love us..a small smile, a warm welcome by your pet when you return home, laughter of a child, butterflies hopping from one flower to the other, big dark clouds, RAIN, thunder storm, the sway of flowers...all brings a smile to my face. Noticing nature brings back a smile..Dont you think that there are so many things to learn from the nature. Flowers: Always give out to others and do not expect anything in return. The flowers give out fragrance and mesmerizes us even when it is plucked till they die.

Clouds and Thunder: When people have so many deeds in their mind then start roaring. ANGER.

Rain: To calm down the turmoil inside its better to let them go and clean up our inner soul.

God says that calm down and look at the things practically.

Every person has the right to live life happily.

Do it right now...

DO IT !!!!!

Do whatever you like and be happy.

DO IT NOW...

live life like never before...

SMILE ALWAYS....

...STORM...

Hmm.. interesting topic for today.. which I face almost everyday here at Guwahati. As usual we'll start of by a real time definition... A storm (from Proto-Germanic *sturmaz "noise, tumult") is any disturbed state of an astronomical body's atmosphere, especially affecting its surface, and strongly implying severe weather. It may be marked by strong wind, thunder and lightning (athunderstorm), heavy precipitation, such as ice (ice storm), or wind transporting some substance through the atmosphere (as in adust storm, snowstorm, hailstorm, etc).

Nature explains human mind and its disturbances...How true it is..! The same definition lies for a human behaviour also, whenever it is in its turbulent behaviour! Before a Storm happens within us, cloud appears within us..strong dark clouds surround our mind and heart.. Storm frightens some, but also soothes people's heart and mind..

Tagore said "botshorer aborjona..dur hoye jak jak jak..esho esho..esho hey boishakh esho esho"

[ years of clogged trashes will go away after this storm..come o storm]

Welcome the storm whole heartedly whether be it in your heart or there at your city, cause this will only make your heart lighter and your city cleaner and fresher!

Mood Swings...

What are Mood Swings?

Mood swings are characterized by a drastic change in emotion from one side of the spectrum to the other. If one moment someone is contentedly going about their daily tasks, and the next moment is suddenly upset, irritated or downright hostile, they may suffer from mood swings.

It is completely normal to experience the wide range of negative emotions like anger, irritability, tearfulness and sadness that affect us all from time to time. But when out of control mood swings start to affect our ability to function properly in jobs or personal relationships, they become an issue worth addressing.

[ taken from www.nativeremedies.com ]

Well we've got hold of what do we really mean by mood swings..thru a google search...that is..

Now you all might be wondering why have I provided this definition for...!!! Well folks today I'm gonna talk to you about my part of life...yup!!! Mood swing that is..many of my friends have stated why have I stopped writing blogs of late..well to tell u'll the truth...I did'nt have the urge to write down a few lines...it all depends on mood you see..to which I heavily depend on..!!! On the contrary, I did not find a topic worth writing about... Today I got one..when one of my friend very near and dear to me had told me that this mood swing of mine is irritating a lot of people lately.. True to some extent..may be it is somewhat very irritating for a person to bear another with such a truce. Not further comlaining of such a matter lets get forward with our topic of discussion today...

Well I should tell you'll what really do I feel when such a thing happens..Its really irritating at that time..I feel as if I sitting on the 100th floor of HELL..!! GOD help anyone who comes to talk to me at that moment of time..

But later on I really feel low but happy too..these incidents make me grin at times..

Well but to converge all..I want to but say sorry to all for my behaviour at times..Im really sorry if I've ever hurt you all through my beahviour...

The above lines are the reasons as to my irratic behaviour ..!!!!

S O R R Y

AM I ON TRACK...????

People sometimes find weird things happening in their lives.. .. which is inexplicable ... sometimes many a things happen in your life which you do which always remains a big big question mark above your small head..sometimes you feel "Oh GOD..!!! What have I done...???" and sometimes.."Is dis ME..?" But the main thing that we forget is that...Its already over...!!! Everything is done...and there's no moving back and solving it in the past...rather we can look through it and mend our future...!!!

"TIME WAITS FOR NONE"

A true proverb which was taught to us long back...the outer meaning is understood by all of us...dats y we all ...rather the society wants us to be punctual always....but what about the inner meaning of the whole thing...?? Rather...lets put it like this...Does this have a deeper meaning unto it...??? Hmmm....May be...

Why not take it like this...???

If time waits for none...and this be the great Law Of Nature....,Why should we stop acting in our life...???..Just by waiting for someone...??? Not even a flower stops its fragrance from coming out just with the fear of whithering the next day...even while dying it mesmerizes us with its wonderful fragrance...So why should we...???

Everyone's scared of failure....But why not try once...??? Why not live your life once again..?

Why not just smile and share joy...and happiness...smiling makes us live another day of our life...another chance to live witth our loved ones who loves us....too much...

Conclusion should be nice...thats what my friend here says...Let me introduce...its Anjum...

So here it is...

No one deserves your tears...and the one who do...will not make you CRY....!!!

I LOVE YOU.....?????

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.

~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

How true are these words..!!!

May be these will be valid only for some few of us..who have had a mind boggling experience with LOVE....hard to think about...but the one thing I would like to comment is that ...love is scary...it can make or take away life...

LOVE with all your heart and all your soul...never pity yourself though..cause the person who loves you will never make you feel so...

They'll hate it when you are upset and will get mad if someone hurts you...and they will never put you down..

But today I wanna tell you that Im so much in deeply in love with you..that no one can take away your place for me...

That's all I'm sayin...

Don't get upset ever...cause no fear is less than your self esteem...

Well...for long...people think what is LOVE...??

Some people think that its when you feel for someone...some say that it is when you can spend your entire life with someone..but then...do you realise that these are but Short Term definitions of LOVE....well if you wanna ask me...then I can only say..that love has no real meaning...it varies from person to person....well lets start like this...that for a parent love means long term gains of their children...for a lover , love means...falling for that person everytime you meet him/her...to make them happy in future and that becomes their one and only wish....for a child..the smile in their parent's cheeks are the only thing they crave for..for a pet...a small pat is all they want...which tells them ultimately that they love him too...

Time and again..we get confused as to whether the other person loves us or not..or that whether we love that person or not!!!

To this may be I can ask you only one question..that whether we think same for our parents??? We never ask such question regarding our parents..cause we know its baseless..after all we cannot make them seperate..!!! Or be the reason behind their divorce..!!! This question is baseless cause we just trust them....In a relation ..the one important thing is the word TRUST..Without this word no relation can sustain itself for long...no matter how hard they try..

So only one request to those who are confused about their life and love....just trust yourself..believe in your self..and trust your love..and most of all..trust the lord...he definitely has something in store for you...

JUST TRUST...AND LOVE...UNCONDITIONALLY...

Today is 22nd of February...Literally so many days has passed by...nothing seems to change..I am the same person and overall the same human being..But the thing that has changed is that I have changed myself..and stopped worrying about the future...its so disastrous when you are'nt happy with your surroundings...I pray to GOD that whatever that has happened to me never ever happens to anyone else in his/her lifetime. I'm scared of what might happen in the long run..I'm scared of even dreaming of my future...but the thing is really funny....the more I think that I am scared of the future happenings...the more I begin to remember the things. My life...My events...My family...everything has some or the other worst part and twists...but while being in my role for the past 23 years, Ive atleast realised one thing...that you get whatever you think..so its better that you think of the positive side of everything...

For the past 4 years I've groomed myself to be someone stronger....mentally....and not someone who works according to some people's whims and wishes...again there is something else that we need to harp upon...and that is BE INDEPENDENT...and you'll find that respect really comes from hard work...which should be everyone's cup of tea...!! The ultimum that you have to reach irrespective of anything that you do in your day to day life leads to only one reason...and that is TO BE HAPPY....and so shall it be...!!!!