I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM LEADING TO !!!

Kaise bataayein aur kisko bataayein, 

Ki kaisee thee woh muskurahatey, 

Jinme zindagi ki ujaaley they, 

Kaise thee woh nigaahey, Jo is dil ko choo leti thee, 

Kaisee thee woh khamoshiya, Jo kahaniya sunatee thee, 

Kaise they woh haath, Jo ab in haathon me nahin hain.. 

I always had the moment of my life. I used to love myself..my attitude towards life.. The smile that I used to place on my face. I Loved my way..my goal..my smile.. 

But sometimes somethings happen in our life to which we have no explanations as such...  My life has had many irony in it..not that I am the only person to have faced with so many troubles..

There are people who has faced many many more troubles than me.. I CAN SALUTE THEM AS I KNOW THE FREQUENCY AND DENSITY OF MY PROBLEMS.

By experience I am much elder to many people..be it family troubles, peer troubles, love life troubles, and any GOD damned troubles...just name it..and whoo hoo!!! I have it all.. 

This heart has felt all the pressures..rather..all kind of wounds..this mind has felt all kind of troubles..this brain has been able to sustain all kind of  pressures  that life has to give..

And standing on this day I can (proudly/sadly) proclaim that the amount of emotions that I had..all are gone for the better..( I guess!) My heart, my mind, my brain has immuned itself from any external agents (immunogens!!!) 

I keep quite during any kind of tussles that arise from any factor-be it a small hanky panky business with a friend or with that with a family member. Sometimes keeping quite does not mean that you are suppressed down to the bottom , 

Mohabbat palkon pe kitne haseen khawaab sajaati hai.. 
Phoolon se mehakte khawaab..
Sitaron se jagmagaat khawaab.. 
Shabnam se barasti khawaab.. 
Phir kabhi yun bhi hota hai ki palko ki daaliyon se 
Khawaabon ke saare parinde ud jaate hain..
Aur aankhein veeran si reh jaati hain" 
I had wished for many things in life..Success..which was and will always be my ultimum, happiness of my parents, relatives and friends..and joy for all.. And if there was any thing that I truly asked for myself was true love.. Its joy, happiness, a partner to be at my side during my moments of thick and thin.. During childhood I used to dream of Him.. childhood gone and now the dream is slowly becoming fade..!! Today its no more than a story of a UNICORN !! a fairy tale - lovely to hear but far away from the truth. I have always been true to the people I truly consider as my close ones.. may be my fault ..cause everytime I find them lying to me..It shatters my trust, my belief, my faith! 


Tumhara naam meri sanso mein basa hai 
Tumhara naam meri tann badan mein 
zindagi bann ke rehta hai
Sun sako to suno 
Ke in fizzaon ke honton per bhi tumhara hi naam hai
Aa sako to aajawo ke meri saath yeh fizzaon bhi 
Sadiyon se tumari interzaar me hai

I have never been untrue to my relations..cause when I was in love I was true and pure to my relations
I have been very loyal to every situations..then why did life take such a drastic turn??
Why did everything break up when I had built a castle of my dreams! - all washed off and smudged by the waves!!
The days my mind was in turmoil was terrible! It had sleepless nights..the days were torturous! the evenings were 
depressed! Everything was not at par! not right..! Something was bad! Something had to be done..but the saddest and the worst part was that
I did not know what was to be done!
 


 Zara Zara Si Baatein Teri Mujhko
Yaad Aati Hai Mere Dil Ko 
Tadapati Hai Raato Mein 
Zara Zara Si Baatein Beete Lamhe Le Aati Hai
 Tasveere Si Ban Jati Hai Aankho Mein 
I still remember the times that we had spent. The moments that we had shared. The argument that we had! Everything! It brings a smile on my face when I remember all that knowledge and gyaans that I had shared with you !! 
There were times when I just was a silent spectator..was always you then who used to speak on and on about every single thing in your life which used to make you think..which used to make you cry! I just listened ! I used to love those days..



Samunder ki lehre, Apni saron pe jhuk ke, 
Taaj sajaye, Itlati huyee, Sahilon ki taraf, Badhti hai..
Sahilon par chataane hai, Lehre chaknachur ho jati hai,
Aksar, sapne bhi, sachhaiyon se, takrake yuhi, tutte hai, 
Magar dil woh kambakht hai, ke phir bhi Ummeed karta hai, 
Shayad Kabhie, shayad kahin..  
My dreams My faith My trust My belief all had shattered! Do not know if it can ever be mended! But all I know is that I TRUST THAT ALMIGHTY LORD !! And I know that he will someday or the other bring in happiness and peace of mind that I have always craved for or maybe my sister will be correct in saying...

"That someday will never come..
its only in our dreams thats everything seems to be perfect..
....in reality no day is a perfect day and no one is a perfect human being !!!
 So enjoy being not perfect...that's life !!!!"

And finally a beautiful song to end with..a song sung by Alka Yagnik :

Saare sapne kahin kho gaye.. 
Haaye hum kya se kya ho gaye.. 
Dil se Tanhaai ka dard jeeta 
Kya kahein hum pe kya kya na beeTa.. 
Tum na aaye, magar jo gaye.. 
Haaye hum kya se kya ho gaye..  

Tumne humse kahin thi jo baatein.. 
Unko dohraati hain gham ki raatein.. 
Tumse milne ke din to gaye.. 
Haaye hum kya se kya ho gaye..

Koi shikva na koi gila hai..
Tumse kab humko yeh gam mila hai... 
Haan naseeb apne hi so gaye.. 
Haaye hum kya se kya ho gaye..

live life in the best possible way..think that you have limited resource which slowly expires as time passes by .. so make full use of it 
and enjoy it the way you should !!
LOVE YOU LOADS !
SMILE ALWAYS !