LAST BREATH

From those around I hear a Cry,                                                      A muffled sob, a Hopeless sigh,                                                    I hear their footsteps leaving slow,                                                   And then I know my soul must Fly!                                                       A chilly wind begins to blow,                                                    Within my soul, from Head to Toe,                                                  And then, Last Breath escapes my lips,                                                     It's Time to leave. And I must Go!                                                          So, it is True (But it's too Late)                                                 They said: Each soul has its Given Date,                                                    When it must leave its body's core,                                                       And meet with its Eternal Fate.

                                                    Oh mark the words that I do say,
                                            Who knows, Tomorrow could be your Day,
                                                   At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
                                                   Decide which now, Do NOT delay !
                                                     Come on my brothers let's pray
                                                      Decide which now, do not delay ....

Oh God! Oh God! I cannot see! 

My eyes are Blind! Am I still Me

Or has my soul been led astray,

And forced to pay a Priceless Fee

Alas to Dust we all return,

Some shall rejoice, while others burn

If only I knew that before

The line grew short and came my Turn!

And now, as beneath the soil 

They lay me with my records flawed

They cry not knowing that I cry worse,

For they go home and I face my GOD! 

                                                   Oh mark the words that I do say,
                                            Who knows, Tomorrow could be your Day,
                                                   At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
                                                   Decide which now, Do NOT delay !
                                                     Come on my brothers let's pray
                                                      Decide which now, do not delay .... 

..LoVe DiS sOnG fOr MaNy ReAsOnS..

Jab jab tere paas main aaya, Ik sukoon mila
Jise main tha bhoolta aaya, Wo wajood mila
Jab aaye mausam gham ke, Tujhe yaad kiya
Jab sehme tanhapan se, Tujhe yaad kiya

..DIL... Sambhal ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu
Dil yahin ruk jaa zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu

Aisa kyun kar hua janu naa
Main janu naa..
Dil sambhal ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu
Dil yahin ruk ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu

Jis raah pe, hai ghar tera
Aksar wahan se, haan main hoon guzra
shayad yahin dil mein raha
Tu mujh ko mil jaye, Kya pata...

Kya hai yeh silsala
Janu naa, Main janu naa
Dil sambhal ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu
Dil yahin ruk ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu

Kuch bhi nahi Jab darmayaan
Phir kyun hai dil, tere hi khwaab bunta
Chaha ki de, tujhko bhula
Par yeh bhi mumkin ho na sakaa...
Kya hai yeh maamla, Janu naa
Main janu naa

Dil sambhal ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu
Dil yahin ruk ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu
Dil sambhal ja zara
Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu

[ song : Phir Mohabbat ; Murder2 : 2011 ]

A VERY STRANGE DREAM OR WAS IT THE TRUTH ???

I dreamt a strange dream that day...a dream which I cannot forget and is there in my mind, my heart, my soul.. and is slowly getting into my nerves..!!! I dreamt about my Grandfather.. a person whom I adored the most and whom I lost whilst I was there in Banaras completing my final year !

I dream a lot about him. I get mixed feelings of me getting scared and being very happy !!! But eventually I get over it, slowly and steadily ! But this time it was different. Totally !

I dreamt that I was sitting in my own room with my parents. And suddenly I saw my Grandfather coming out from my parents' master bed room and slowly walking towards his own room !! His face was totally white like something painted on him.. I thought it was 'chandan', looked somewhat like it, as if it was smudged on his face! The whole time that he was passing by, his eyes were looking at me ! As if it was trying to hold my vision ! I screamed. I went following him towards his room! I called my mom as I was going to his room. But no one could see him. I never at once a time allowed my eyes to blink as if He will vanish as soon as I remove my vision.

He smiled at me or stared at me...I dont remember that ! He made a strange point !

"I have reincarnated" he said.

"in Bangalore"

It was like joy & strangeness that crept inside me when I woke up the next morning !

I was scared.

I wanted to cry !

Then I suddenly felt, why this dream ? Wasn't it strange..!! I could not tell anyone !

As I was thinking suddenly the phone bell rang ! I picked up ! [ I wasn't supposed to as my mom was there,but strangely at that time she was not available ] It was my Dad. He asked me the date of my grandfather's death ! I confirmed it with mom and told him..14th January 2008.

It was strange that at that time my father called up !

Was it a real signal ????

I noted down the day and the time of my dream...

29th May ...maybe 30th May 2011 after 02:00 hours.

- the day when I had A VERY STRANGE DREAM OR WAS IT THE TRUTH ???

Many a times there comes a time in our life when everything just seems to be right..!!! All right.. All correct.. & all in its way ! Contrary to this statement, many a times we also find something which is not going at its pace as it should have..

Life has made its turn.. My GUILTY is no more !! She was more than a Dog...she was never a dog.. she was like a member, a family.. Till date I could not come out of her death. That she is no more. I am still in a state of denial, which I can feel it. I don't believe that she isn't here ! I still believe that she is there and she will come out immediately when I bang the ball on the floor! Maybe if I pen down my feelings, can I actually believe that she isn't here..

I want to cry out aloud, but cannot. Everyone was crying out aloud, my brother who loved her ! My aunt..all. But me? Look at me.. Have I become a cold hearted human?? People say that many a times certain situations make you immunised ! Am I?? Have I??

I remember the day when my brother and I used to give food to her mother post-birth of her puppies, outside the room, & when she went out, we used to hurriedly close the door so as to cuddle her puppies.

Rani grew on my lap. Her dead body was there too.. But I had not cried a single tear infront !

We went to bury her. She was still looking soooooo cute !!!! She was fond of me.

I LOVE YOU STILL & WILL NEVER FORGET YOU ! PLEASE FORGIVE ME !

..no OnE kNoWs ThE ReALiTy Of OtHeRs..

Its hard to explain to people why do they react in an odd manner sometimes. Circumstances make them behave in that way. They are bound to behave in such a manner ! They cannot explain it to others as to the reason behind their sudden behaviour.

Some Pain that they carry alongwith...some deep sorrows that they cannot come out with. Cannot explain it to them, who do not understand !

Cause if they speak...the whole world will fall apart !

He cannot say anything..why how for what ???

But all that he can say is that he has something within him that forces him to keep quiet.

He has this within him & always will keep it within himself.

It will die with him.

And no one will ever come to know.

He knows people will be angry..will be ashamed..will even stop talking..take him to be the rudest of the RUde !!! But he will never speak a word..N E V E R..

"Till then I will be the worst person ever... who has committed a grave crime..I am ready to face such a statement too...But am not ready to break down their Lives..!!! Never..."

- My dear Ol' Friend...am always there for you...you are very brave and even if the world never comes to know but I know what you have gone through. I Love you very much and I will love you always being at your side. You do not know how lucky I am to be your friend. GOD will never do anything bad to you..take it from me. You are HIS favourite child !!!! Yes you are !

..I LoVeD YoU A LoT..

Suddenly missing my grandpa a lot... Many things I wanted to tell you. I could not. Many things i did. I should not have done. I loved you. I love you. And I will love you.

Missing your voice your voice your touch. I have become very lonely with the absence of your love.

Your room is all so empty without you. Your Radio does not pitch up by the famous Akashvani music that used to destroy my sleep early in the morning.

Your tuitions in maths and Bengali I miss so much. Your way of reading that famous poem witthen by Rabindranath Tagore which made you cry while reading it.. it used to make me cry too. Not because it had such a sad ending but only because you were crying.

Today am alone. I know you can see it.

You must be worried as well as proud of me for standing up so tall everytime I fell.

But sometimes I am scared to face the truth and reality and just laugh and smile... It Hurts.

I love you a lot.

I am sorry.

And I miss you.

..R A I N..

While the cold drops fall on my face my mind rushed back and just reminded me that "you are so beautiful" "there are no pressures in your life worth your tears"

Sometimes some things happen and at some point of time you suddenly find your mind telling you certain things. You find some other person talking to you. Maybe God..

Today as I was drenching myself under the natural shower I found myself suddenly all so happy !!

I love the rains especially when I become a part of their drenching conquest !! Simply love the feeling when the chilling drops fall on my head, my face, my hands, and ultimately touches my soul !! Have you ever faced the sky and opened up your arms and welcomed the rain ??? It feels awesome !!!

HAVE YOU EVER DANCED IN THE RAIN ????? Do IT n ReMeMbEr Me...

The smell that comes out of the earth after the rain touches the soil...

The dance of the flowers, the plants, the trees...

The sparrows bathing in a pool of water after the rains..

The peacock dancing..

The frogs croaking..

The greenery that follows after the rain...as if it had also suddenly motivated itself after the rains..

and..not to forget the cool breeze that follows which ultimately lifts up the spirit

Rain is ever soo romantic..ever so charming..ever so wonderful..

I lOVE tHe RaIn..Do YoU ??????